Dissecting storm clouds
This month has been hard on me, emotionally and physically. A piece of cake by some people’s standards, I’m sure, but for me, it has been one of the hardest months I’ve had in awhile—or possibly ever, if I could remember clearly. And so, like any other normal person, I decided to turn 24 bipolar days of highs and lows into four specific lists.
I’m not going to lie; this post probably has nothing for you. It has no deep questions or things to ponder. It’s just a series of lists; a glimpse into the way my mind organizes the things that happen to me, at best. I originally wrote this in twisted, masochistically curious humor (why else would anyone want to relive all the bad things that happened to them for the sake of making it into a list?), but in writing this and other things, I have a feeling I have hit the last nail in the coffin on how writing can be like therapy for me.
So here it goes…
Things that have gone wrong so far in June:
- Someone I love was given 48 hours to live—three weeks ago.
- Extremely stressful family drama, which I—despite my best attempts—got sucked into because somebody has to be the voice of reason and make people calm down.
- I went to the dentist and found out everything I cooked up in my head and freaked out about thanks to google is actually true: I will need three wisdom teeth pulled and three cavities drilled, which means: THREE OR MORE NEEDLES IN MY MOUTH. (So pretty much, I’m going to die. Bring daisies to my funeral.)
- Having my wallet—complete with credit card, UBCDC ID, student ID, drivers license, money and a 50 dollar gift card—stolen. While I was at the hospital.
- Because of all the things that have happened, all the other things in my life (namely, the two big ones: my business and my education) haven’t been attended to in weeks, causing me even more stress because I am so behind on everything and more problems and stresses are piling up because of that.
Sharp little words
A couple days ago, someone said something to me that crawled under my skin and stayed there.
They called me a bitch.
It was in passing, a flippant comment probably in reference to the way I had handled a situation I was describing at the time the comment was made, but it still stuck with me nonetheless. I have never been called a bitch to my face before, and the idea that I could possibly be something so hurtful nagged me all weekend long.
I would never, could never, want to hurt anyone. But when that person called me a bitch and followed it up with several other somewhat carelessly thought out comments, they hurt me. There. I said it outloud. It hurt.
This incident got me thinking about the things I say and the way I am to other people. The person who made that comment probably didn’t think too much of what they said, but it certainly affected me. Is it possible that I have said and could say things to people in my life that could have the same effect on them? Absolutely.
It’s terrifying.
I love to read celebrity gossip blogs; a lot of people do. But have you ever stopped to read the comments? Some of them are positively heartbreaking—or would be, if I were the person those commentors were ripping to shreds.
Moroccan tomato stew over couscous
This tomato stew has been a surprising hit from first time I’ve made it (with meat eaters, vegetarians, vegans and vegetable haters alike!), but what makes it truly amazing is just how easy it is to make. You don’t even need to measure things - just throw ingredients in (keeping in mind proportions, eg. water to solid ingredients, seasoning to volume) and simmer over low heat, or even boil over high heat if you’re in a rush to eat it. That simple.
This recipe is a switchup of my current favorite recipe, tomato stew. To switch it up, I make it the exact same way but add less water to give a slightly thicker consistency so it’s more of a sauce and less of a soup, to be served over a bed of couscous.
